By Dr Edrica D. Richardson
I don’t mind when people tell me that my relationship ideals are a fairytale. If it is a fairytale to be loved, to be respected, to have passion, a moving and active love -- if that is fairytale, then yes. If mutual respect, love, lust and friendship is a fairytale, then of course! I want to be in love with you, in lust with you, in like with you... it’s a multidimensional world why would I want a one-dimensional relationship? I want love, passion, honesty and companionship... sex that drives me crazy and conversation that drives me sane. That’s the standard I’m setting. What standard are you setting?
Dr Edrica D. Richardson is Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist in multiple states in the US; and an AAMFT Approved Supervisor. Her clinical specialties include relationship issues, stress management, family conflict, and life coaching, to name a few. She works with adolescents, couples, and families in The Bahamas and the US. Visit her website at www.dredrich.com
Many people make the mistake of expecting others to treat them in a more loving and respectful way than they treat themselves. If you don’t love yourself, stop expecting others to. If you don’t respect yourself, stop expecting others to. If you don’t keep promises to yourself, stop expecting others to. If you are not faithful to your dreams, your goals, and your resolutions, stop expecting others to be. We inspire others to treat us by the way we treat ourselves. The most important relationship you will ever have is the one with yourself. It is in this relationship that we set the standard for all others.
Love, passion, honesty and companionship... I want those kinds of things -- if that is a fairytale, I’ll wait for it... I’ll cultivate it... I’ll create it. Every time I have settled for less, I have felt empty, incomplete, had too much drama, and just didn’t feel the wonderful magic of love.
Let’s be honest. Many of us wouldn’t do it. We live in a world where we question if following our heart or even making the first move is acceptable. Things like being the one who cares more or calls too frequently or shares too much is looked down upon. What happened to genuinely liking a person and going with it?
What happened is our unwillingness to slay the dragons that present themselves in our relationships. We want the fairytale without the work and even Disney didn’t sell us something that crazy. Even Snow White and Sleeping Beauty had their struggles to overcome.
If you want to fall in love, you have to take risks together. Even the couples that seem to have it all figured out had issues they needed to combat. Don’t be afraid to try. If you know a person is worth your time and effort, give it to them and your fairy tale can be right around the corner too.
They do exist -- just change your reality and don't base them on animated characters. Each relationship has its own magical properties; Sometimes your happy ending ends with a partner, while other times you end up being happier alone! Perception is reality; make sure you're in charge of yours!