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Letter: Kaiso! Kaiso! Vincy Kaiso 2014
Published on June 23, 2014 Email To Friend    Print Version

Dear Sir:

Here we go again! It’s Vincy Mas 2014 in St.Vincent and the Grenadines (SVG) and boy the e-mails, texts and calls about calypsos start filling up “me” smartphone. By now “yo” know “me” ears tuned to the ground in Vincyland.

But first I have to correct a mistake in last year’s Kaiso! Kaiso! Vincy Kaiso 2013 letter. I have to give a hearty shout out to the man “Sadist” for putting the hammer right on the nail and went straight to the meat of the matter with, “Elie”! My apology, “Sadist” for calling you “Bump-I”!

With no Ex-tempo (the step-up, put on yo big undies, high jump competition) this year, “me” partner “Ras Boo” gets a reprieve from his annual spanking by “Blakey”. However Ras Boo, take the time off this year to refine your craft for next year’s step-up, put on yo big undies, high jump competition, the Ex-tempo. I will be waiting for you to dethrone the venerable step-up, put on yo big undies, high jump champion, “Blakey.”

Ras Boo, “yo” didn’t take “me” advice and contact “Goaty” in Grenada for some high jump tips. Well, I am sending “yo” a new coach, another of our good buddies, “Ras Bucket” out of Anguilla. Since, “yo” both are “Ras” it may take two “Ras” to bring down Blakey. As they say, two “Ras” are better than one! Ras Boo, stop the “Western Roll”, it’s “Fosbury Flop” time now. Happy training!

It seems like the Carnival Development Corporation (CDC) is really taking this red thing to heart. Before Vincy Mas 2014 got on the way, the CDC declared it was $300,000 in the red. Ah wonder if “Bump-I” can bring back his classic kaiso, “Bump-I fraid CDC!” Just an encore presentation “Bump-I,” an encore! Or maybe “DeFoe” can remix his big number from two years ago, “Woodlice In Me Pocket” to “Woodlice In CDC Pocket!”

Well, ah hear “GAO” started off the season singing, he ah the “Horner Man!” GAO boy, ah see yo one up “Jamesy P,” who said he want ah be the “Horna Man” a couple years ago.

Now, I wonder if them fellers know that the horner man does get horn (butt) too! Ask “Becket,” ah he who sing “Horn fuh Dem!”  Back in 1984 Becket said, “what goes around, comes around and all who horn, horn fuh dem!” Boy even, Sheriff and Deputy ah get some big cattle horn!

For 2014, ah see “Shazeke” done set the record straight, she horning yo back, “Horn 4 Horn!” But then again, “Problem Child” and “Fryktion” said “Yuh Woman Buttin Me” and the original horner man “Becket” joined forces for the remix “Yuh Woman Buttin Me Too.” After all GAO, take warning “Touch” done tell yo, “Man Can’t Tek Butt!” And back in the day “Tommy T” lamented about “Tabanka!”

Boy, the social melee got started and right away “Abijah” like a fly on the wall is the “Invisible Man.” Boy, he could see who working two times for one pay! Or any hanky panky going on in the lottery! You can hide but ah could see, look out for the invisible man. Kasio Abijah, kaiso!

Well, “I-Come” won the new song competition with “Body Parts,” as he address the amputation epidemic in SVG by asking, “Why they cutting, cutting?” I-Come man, it’s not limbs alone they cutting, things bad, so everything keeps getting cut, water service, electrical service, postal service and medical service to name a few. I-Come, yo nah hear “Struggler” say “The Country Hard!

Now, “Maddzart” said “Hole in De Road!”  So true, plenty potholes all over SVG. Even the road services got cut too! So some words of wisdom from Maddzart, they better fix it, get concrete and mix it!

The “Bad John” kaiso man “Zion-I” is telling us to “Watch Trouble in The Country” and as he said “too much trouble in the country.” Ah wonder if ah dat trouble, mek monkey eat pepper? Or is it as “I-Madd” implied in “Calypso and Politics,” the size of the plum seed?

Calling “Papa I-Ston!” Come in I-Ston! Come in I-Ston! “Poor People Crying, Oh God!” So, “Little Bit” is asking “How Could You Sleep Mr. PM?” How could you? It’s no wonder there have been more requests for bell ringing than at a Baptist meeting.

Mayday! Mayday! Mayday! This is an SOS, coming from “The SVG!” So “we must make a change” is the cry from “Ninja” as he belts out “SOS, SVG” and call on them to “ring the bell.” Even soca man Godfrey Dublin says to “Ring D Bell!

But “Patches” with no water in his mouth says it boldly, “Ring the Bell!” Those “who ain’t going to jail, going to hell” because nuff stupidiness, wastefullness, pompousness, worthlessness, nastiness, wickedness and more. Boy as “Patches” said “I never see, more mess!” Word like rain in Patches’s calypso! Ring the bell, Comrade ring the bell!

Ah way mek them fraid fo ring the bell? Is it because “I-Madd” said “We Kicking Dem Out!” Boy, the cry of the poor, can’t take no more. Ring the bell Comrade and there is the door! Well of course, “De Man Age” is saying, “Tek Back We Country!” So Vincies, “come mek we tek back we country fo we children sake.” Comrade, we taking it back!

That’s “The Way I See It” says the “Black Messenger!” What you sow, is what you have to reap! Preach it Messenger! Preach it!

Tourism Minister and Ex-Health Minister “Ces,” way “yo” playing “fo” Jouvert this year man? Let’s combine tourism and health and play Little Tokyo “fo” Jouvert. Ces boy, I can see some creative Jouvert costumes such as, “peas tree on roof,” “hold yo nose,” “sky light,” or “just grin and bear it!”

Ces boy, yo could also play a “Soca Baptist” and go around ringing a bell “fo” Jouvert! As you know, ole Mas ah Jouvert and all ah dat ah Mas in SVG!

Peace and justice and enjoy Vincy Mas 2014.

Lenford O’Garro
Washington

P.S. “I-Pa” boy, if ah know yo were going to get “Old Age” so fast, ah wouldna tell yo to drink “Jack Iron” last year. But ah you who say yo ah the “Drunken Master!” So, are we changing yo name from “I-Pa” to“Grand Pa” or just plain “Pa?” Ah hear the boys on the block are saying it’s “Grand Pa!”
 
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Comments:

Allan Palmer:

Pouie like you had a vision of some sort that said I did not hear any of the songs say for Patches Knights ring the bell. Hence the reason all the links to the relevant numbers in this piece Kaiso Kaiso. Well by now you will know as a poet song writer I do not have the time to ramage through the tons of garbage Kaiso to get to the few good ones.

There are people like the big bad, little man Age, Slates, zion I, Lexi, Joy-C and a few other who you can depend on to give you nice melody, constructive (both in content and word harmony) Kaiso.

Thank you my brother from the Ghetto

Allan Palmer:

Apparently one of the night time talk Show host on Nice Radio took offence to my critique of tge hundreds of substandard Kaiso that's produced in SVG each year.

I suspected you would not have replied, however you may have taken offence with my critique of the hundreds of sub-stand composition. With all type of erotic melody.

Man if you can't handle the truth thats your problem not mine. Think about it. You don't help a drug addict by enabling him or her, you put them on the road to recovery by helping them to face reality.

You guys have been enabling those guys who invest money to pay arranger to arrange songs and studio to record songs that people (me) can and will never share with friends or even listen to. We have drifted a long way from the 70s & 80s and that is because you guys have grown to appreciate crap.

vinci vin:

Pouie Bwoy, yo hot like fyah and yu keep on getting betta. Thanks fo de links ... de kaiso so sweet an relevant to de times arwee seeing inna Hairouna.

Vin


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